Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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