i just wanna soil my oats bro
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
