i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
