google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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