Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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