i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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