I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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