So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
