Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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