And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
