He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
