She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
