grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
