We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You work out of a Hotel?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
