im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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