he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
