your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
