where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
