haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
