Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
