Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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