it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you would pick up someone in the library
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
