i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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