I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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