About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
