Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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