Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
