The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize