Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
