You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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