I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
