the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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