Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
