Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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