dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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