Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
