i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
