so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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