i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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