our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she peed on how many people?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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