I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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