Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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