Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
