I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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