Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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