ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
