epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
