Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
then he tried to convert me to islam
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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