I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
