So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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