How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
