I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
