i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
