just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Randomize
