I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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