she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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