Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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