marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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