How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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