NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
