I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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