I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
