I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
