pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
