I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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