She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
