bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
