you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
